Welcome to BigFoodMonster.com

Bookmark |

Stumble |

Digg |

email |

Facebook

How many times have you thumbed to a recipe only to slam the book shut in seconds? That's the fear, that is. The recipe takes up a whole page and looks really scary because you don't understand the jargon, method or ingredients.

But really, you shouldn't tremble. The Big Food Monster is here to hold your hand.

I don't claim to be an expert on everything, but i have twenty-odd years experience of working in some pretty decent hotels, restaurants and bars behind me, so i know a bit about food. I know that any recipe, no matter how large, can normally be broken down into several easier to follow parts and either prepared way in advance or removed altogether and the dish will improve for it. But lets forget the recipes for now and mention the basic principles that you really should absorb. Make them your religion. Your four commandments...

1. Keep it fresh. Fresh is best. Period. If you're here to find out how to spice up your tinned spaghetti hoops to pour over your 'posh' toast shaped like the statue of liberty i'm afraid you are in the wrong place. That said, there ARE some things that arrive in tins and are life savers, the things that are just completely impractical to do yourself. Tomato puree for instance.

2. Buy the best. Or at least buy the very best you can afford. We've all been hypnotized by the local supermarkets 'ten items for 99p' adverts. But why are we suprised when our special offer rump steak eats like a smelly old boot? It is as simple as this... You get what you pay for.

3. Keep it safe. Have a stroll around your kitchen before you start cooking your next meal. Are your benches hygienically clean? Is your fridge working? Has the food you're going to be working with been wrapped and stored correctly? Have you washed your hands?

Any pro- kitchen worth its salt has a food management system tied up tighter than a frogs nad-sack. We have to, any decent chef wants to and you expect it to. You think restaurant bacteria is different to yours? You can grab a roll of cling film, a fridge temp reader, some anti-bac spray and handwash for less than 10 of your earth pounds and they will last for ages. Go get some!

4. Keep it simple. If you have followed the three previous rules why would you want to spoil the flavour of your fresh, safe, high quality food by confusing it with an orgy of unnecessary guff? In the trade, chefs that do this, probably the ones who wrote the recipe that had you bricking it earlier, are said to have little dick syndrome. Can you say 'ego massage?' Ssshhh... give them their moment...
The hanging gardens of Babylon should stay in Babylon and not make it onto your plate.

Amen.

Hopefully you will find something useful on this site, but it's still very early days so if you have a suggestion for improvement or a recipe please get in touch.

The Big Food Monster - Taking the fear out of food.

Can't find what your looking for or want more info on any recipe? Try the google machine on the inter web thingy...